Safety Culture: A Wingman’s Philosophy Can Save the Day

It can be hard to see how our actions may affect others, as well as ourselves, especially when we are in celebration mode. What starts as a good time with friends can turn into a disaster, especially if someone gets behind the wheel of a car or motorcycle after reaching the legal limit of blood alcohol content (BAC) of .08 percent. It is times like these where a wingman’s philosophy to provide protection or support to another in a possibly dangerous situation would be helpful in everyday life. My family learned this lesson one Mother’s Day shortly after my son had completed United States Marine Corps Recruit Training, or “boot camp” as it is commonly known.

My son signed up for the Marine Reserves because he wanted to serve his country. Coming from a single-parent family, he also believed it was good to save the money he earned at boot camp to add to his savings from his full-time job so he could purchase his first vehicle. Shortly after he got home from boot camp, he put a down payment on a vehicle and drove off into the sunset to a party at his friend’s home. He had plenty to celebrate, and the following day he planned to take me to lunch in his new car for Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, that never happened.

That was a long five years. It seemed that our lives would never return to normal …

When I got up to make coffee on Mother’s Day, I went to wake my son. It was obvious that he had not slept in his bed. My first reaction was that he must have stayed at his friend’s house overnight, and that made good sense. The morning lingered on, and I became curious about when we were to leave for our lunch celebration. When I called my son, there was no answer. He is a reliable person, so I began to wonder why he would not pick up his phone and talk to me. The morning hours passed slowly to noon, and when I called his friends, no one had an answer regarding how to find my son.

In the early afternoon, after I had fixed myself lunch, my son rolled through the door, looking devastated. I was afraid to ask what was wrong. He proceeded to tell me that he went to his friend’s house the night before, and since he would be 18 years old the next week he decided to celebrate early by drinking a beer with his friend. Drinking only one beer did not sound too bad; however, one consequential problem was that he was not yet old enough to drink legally. Another crucial issue was that he had driven from his friend’s house after he drank the beer. His friend lived in a beautiful house up a winding, unpaved road on a hillside. When my son left to drive home, he turned a little too sharply on one of the curves and dropped freefall off the road into the hillside shrubbery.

There was no way for him to escape the situation he had created. He could not get the car out of the shrubbery without help, and getting help involved the police. It was when help arrived that my son realized that his situation was even worse than he had thought. After he and the car were rescued, the police towed the car and took him to the police station. Naturally, my son did not want to call me on Mother’s Day to get him out of jail, so a friend bailed him out. He did not realize that drinking one beer could cause so many problems.

One of those many problems was that he had not bought gap insurance (insurance that pays the difference between your car loan and its actual value in the event of an accident) for his car. Therefore, although his car was totaled, insurance did not cover the cost of his loan. Not only was his driver’s license taken away for five years, but he also lost his car and had to pay a fine of several thousand dollars. We lived in San Diego, where it is close to impossible to live without a car. Therefore, my son needed someone to drive him to work, to the 18-month alcohol/drug program that the court assigned to him, and everywhere he went until he could get his license back in five years.

That was a long five years. It seemed that our lives would never return to normal, and to think that driving after drinking only one beer could cause such problems. The one thing we know for sure is that we both learned the importance of never drinking before getting behind the wheel of a car or motorcycle. We realize the situation could have been much worse. What if he had gotten into an accident and someone was hurt, or, even worse, had died? In a case such as this, he could have gone to prison for an exceptionally long time, and possibly never recovered from the emotional damage of affecting someone else’s life in such a devastating way because of what seemed to be a simple mistake.

It is times like these when a wingman’s philosophy would have been unbelievably valuable. If only a friend had been looking out for him and offered to keep him out of danger by driving him home after he had been drinking. We learned the importance of developing a plan before a person even leaves their house to celebrate or drink with friends. There should always be a designated driver, other than the person who is drinking alcohol. We can never anticipate what problems might arise when drinking and driving, but we can be sure of one thing: one mistake can affect your life and the lives of others for many years to come. Maybe even for a lifetime.