A Lesson Learned the Hard Way

Getting behind the wheel after drinking, even just one time, can have tragic consequences— for you and others. This grim reality is why Daltyn Ryan Stout shares his story. The young man went from looking forward to a bright future with a promising career to a 20-year prison sentence for murder after a tragic accident.

As a recent high school graduate, 19-year-old Stout had a promising future. He had a great job at an oil refinery and had just received a promotion. After work, he often hung out with his friends and would drink a few beers. Stout said alcohol was not a large part of his life. Even so, it soon became the reason his life changed forever—and for the worse.

At 1:42 a.m. on September 12, 2015, outside a small Oklahoma town, Stout and his friends were in a terrible auto accident. The sad outcome was the vehicle upside down in a ditch and the death of a young man. Tragically, one of Stout’s friends, Cody Grantham, was critically injured in the crash. Grantham was missing at the scene, and when found, he was rushed to the hospital, where he sadly passed away. Grantham was only 22 years old when his life ended. He was survived by a loving family who said that he had been so full of life, enjoying motocross, Frisbee golf, and fishing. Cody had the type of personality that wanted to make people laugh. He had so much ahead of him as he had started a career in a disability services company after graduating high school. Sadly, his untimely death could have been prevented.

Stout shared that they were not wearing their seatbelts, which played a significant role in Grantham’s death. When driving, wearing a seatbelt is crucial for surviving a collision. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), 2,549 lives were saved in 2017 by wearing seatbelts. Grantham could have been saved if he had been wearing a seatbelt that morning. It is always important to buckle up, no matter the distance of the drive.

It was driving under the influence, however, that led to the reckless behavior that was the primary cause of the crash. Immediately following the accident, Stout gave a statement to the police about what happened. This report was the first of many times he would share his story. The young man admitted that he was driving after drinking five or six beers. Stout explained how he lost control of the vehicle and ended up rolling into a ditch. While on a curving road, he began driving too fast, showing off the power of his truck for his friends. Tragically, the situation quickly got out of hand when the truck flipped into the ditch.

One of the effects of alcohol is that it can severely affect your vision. Additionally, it slows reaction times, making you less alert, drowsy, and unable to concentrate. It can also reduce how well you gauge the position of other cars on the road or objects nearby.

When Stout took a sobriety test, it showed that he was barely over the legal limit. You may think your friends will stop you from driving a vehicle if you have had too much to drink, but often they cannot tell, especially if they have also had a drink or two. They also may trust your judgment and want to avoid any awkwardness of confronting you or potentially taking your keys away. Bottom line: if you have had a drink, do not drive.

Having the mindset of invincibility is also often detrimental. You might think you are sober enough to drive because you are not showing any signs of inebriation, but remember, although Stout appeared fine, he still crashed his vehicle. You cannot underestimate your level of intoxication. You have to think, “Better safe than sorry,” even if you think you are sober enough to drive. Be aware that it is extremely difficult to gauge. If you are ever in a situation where you have alcohol in your system, even just one drink, please remember that the seemingly small decision to drive can change your life for the worse. Stout had to learn that the hard way.

Stout was not the only one to receive consequences, as drinking and driving, especially combined with underage drinking, are very serious issues. A young man named Joel Benjamin Kassen was also a passenger in the car, and he was charged with the second-degree manslaughter of Grantham. He had paid for the alcohol with Stout’s credit card. Later, Kassen’s charge was dismissed. Although Kassen may have thought his actions were harmless, this accident shows that there can be tragic consequences for contributing to the delinquency of minors. Several bad decisions in one night destroyed the lives of three young men and their families.

That is why it is critical to plan ahead. Know that you may easily make a poor decision when drinking. Select a designated driver ahead of time or have someone in mind to phone to give you a lift if you have had a drink. Then there is also the option of spending the night somewhere. If you are at a safe place, stay there, or find a nearby hotel and wait until morning to drive home. Even the simple act of waiting to drive or calling a Lyft or Uber can save you from years in prison and other consequences. If you have a collision, you may lose your license, be fined, increase the cost of your car insurance, and, of course, receive possible jail time. None of these repercussions compare with living with the guilt of being responsible for someone losing his or her life.

Although Stout has faced harsh imprisonment and tremendous regret, he emphasized that he does not want pity or forgiveness; he wants people to mourn the loss of a beautiful soul whose life ended too soon. Stout wants his story to serve as a reminder to never get behind the wheel of a vehicle after consuming alcohol. He wants people to learn how to avoid his mistakes and to plan ahead when drinking.

This event is only one of many tragic stories of someone’s life ending because of drinking and driving. According to NHTSA, more than 10,000 deaths per year are due to drunk driving. Sadly, frequently these deaths are children. In 2018, more than 230 children age 14 or under were killed in drunk-driving collisions.

Stout’s story and the many untold stories teach us valuable lessons. One of the lessons is to surround yourself with the right people who encourage risk management and prioritize personal safety over a good time.

It may feel like you are going the extra mile to make the responsible decision during certain situations, but that decision could significantly affect your future. The choices you make are your responsibility, and it is always crucial to think before you act because one small good decision can prevent a lifetime of pain. If you drink alcohol, please contact someone. Do not be afraid of bothering them because your safety and the safety of others outweigh any awkwardness or inconvenience. Choosing to do what you can to spread awareness about the effects of drinking and driving to others around you can save countless lives. Unapologetically sharing the message could help, even if you do not think it will make a difference—your voice matters. Talking with the next generation can help them understand the gravity of irresponsible drinking and help them adopt better decision-making skills.

Educating ourselves about the consequences of drinking and driving and sharing this incident with others can make a difference, even if we are not aware of it. Stout shares his story in memory of his friend, Cody Grantham. Stout wants others to know that one instance of carelessness can have life-long consequences. With this advice in mind, please develop safe habits so you can have a fun time without putting yourself or others in harm’s way. It is easy to avoid by planning ahead before you have a night out. Keeping Stout’s story in mind could potentially save your or others’ lives.