How to De-Escalate Risky Situations

Life is full of risky situations, and although they may come as surprises, it is beneficial to know the verbal and nonverbal cues that signal them. Some occupations are riskier than others. According to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, employees who work alone (outside of the home), in high-crime areas, or late at night have a higher chance of being subjected to an act of violence. Understanding how to de-escalate risky situations is especially crucial for those serving in the military.

In everyday, real-life situations, it is wise to be aware of verbal and nonverbal cues and be prepared for the escalation of risky situations, including the following behaviors:

• The person begins to pace or fidget.
• The person suddenly changes their body language or tone of voice during a conversation.
• The person’s use of eye contact changes.
• The person’s chest protrudes, and they hold their arms away from their body in a stance that resembles a rooster.
• The person exhibits disrup­tive behaviors such as defying rules or refusing to comply, yelling, or bullying.

Preventing suicide is a critical reason for knowing how to de-escalate a risky situation.

Do not use physical force as your first response in a risky situation, especially if you do not have specialized training. Consider using the following options to de-escalate a conflict instead:

• Calm yourself before interacting with the person by taking a deep breath. If the person directs insults toward you, do not get defensive. Use a low, dull tone of voice.
• Become aware of your environment. Observe the space around you to note exits or openings. Determine whether you are blocking the person and making them feel trapped. Ascertain the location and demeanor of other people in the room. Note the objects in the room, including chairs, tables, and items on the tables.
• Even if you do not feel calm and self-confident, try to look as nonthreatening as possible by keeping a neutral facial expression. Do not point your fingers at the person. Avoid excessive pacing or fidgeting and shrugging your shoulders. Maintain a distance of 12 feet or more from the person.
• Ask a simple question such as, “What is your name?” This opening question can quickly diffuse a situation, make the dialogue more personal, and encourage the person to respond in a positive manner.
• Acknowledge the person’s feelings and do not appear to judge them. You may disagree with the person’s position, but it is important to show empathy during conflicts. Help the person discuss their anger instead of acting on their angry feelings. To help assure the person that you understand their frustration, use open-ended questions that do not lead to simple “yes” or “no” answers. Paraphrase their responses and ask them for ideas and solutions. You can even ask for permission to take notes.
• Use words such as “what” and “we” in the conversation to discuss the future and make yourself appear less threatening while creating hope.
• Make a statement that the person is likely to agree with by saying “yes,” because it will make it harder for them to stay angry if they agree with you.

If you know an Airman who may be considering suicide, ask them about what is going on in their life. Warning signs include talking about immense guilt or shame, acting anxious and agitated, showing rage, and talking about seeking revenge. In addition, they might talk about feeling empty, hopeless, or having no reason to live. They may take risks such as driving extraordinarily fast. They may talk or think about death or exhibit mood swings, changing from very sad to very happy. They may give away important possessions, make a will, or say goodbye to friends and family.

Do not wait for things to escalate to a crisis level; all comments about suicide should be taken seriously and responded to immediately by taking the person to the nearest primary care office, mental health clinic, or emergency room. Remove anything that they can use to hurt themselves. Never leave an Airman alone if they have thoughts of suicide, not even long enough to go to the bathroom by themselves. You can also call the Military Crisis Line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the deaf and hard-of-hearing Crisis Line via Teletypewriter (TTY) at 1-800-799-4889; both are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Some things are outside our control, and it is not always possible to effectively de-escalate a risky situation. Although it is important to stay calm, be patient, and maintain situational awareness if a risky situation occurs, it is equally important to have a plan to defend yourself, protect others, or escape if necessary if the situation deteriorates.